thinspo

isabella ♥

Advanced Sage

Accountability access
1756 posts

Locationunder the bell jar

Posted Today, 12:53 PM

₊ ˚✿ *.♡ ⁺ ˖★ ୧੭ ࣪⊹

JULY 16

WEIGHT

no weigh-in

WATER

1.5 / 2L

FOOD

pancake with jam: 250

vegan chocolate crispy bites: 290

lotus biscoff cookies: 350

trek bar pb crunch: 210

two burritos: 500

total in: 1600

EXERCISE

12.5k steps

total out: 2150

DAILY GOALS

☒ no social media

☒ journal

☒ learn language

☒ read book

☒ take a walk outside

DIARY

it’s going to be 40°C next week ... i live in northern europe

was doing a camera roll cleanse & came across this pic

remember when my hair looked like this

wish i could just wake up like that ( ; ω ; ) my life would be 10% more tolerable

it's longer now but it also seems less voluminous which is unfortunate

i don't wanna cut it but i'm also not really vibing with the way it is right now so idk what to do with it

spoiler for emo stuff ahead </3

Spoiler

my days consist of planning my meals (not that you can call what i’m eating atm meals, more like junk snacks) & in between the meals telling myself every five seconds don’t binge don’t binge don’t binge (that’s all i want to do) & forcing myself to take a walk sometime during the day to try to get in 10k steps

& whilst doing that i constantly try to walk past windows so i can see my reflection cause i have the compulsive need to bodycheck

only for me to come to the same conclusion after each & every window … which is that i’m gross & fat

idk why i keep doing it like i’m suddenly going to lose 5 kg between one window & the next

it’s pathetic cause i feel like if i really, really wanted to i could make changes in my life & create a pretty decent life for myself but there’s just something in me that chooses not to (?)

& it’s double pathetic that i’m wasting so much mental energy on this shit & you can’t even tell from my intake. i eat like a normie

& i know you’re supposed to think (know?) that nobody choses to have an ed, nobody chooses to be depressed, etc. cause they’re illnesses

but to me it does feel like i chose this somehow and that i continue to choose it. so i have no right to complain about anything or play the victim. but i still do.

i feel like a bad person who only deserves bad things and who’s too cowardly to just accept that she’s a bad person who deserves bad things so she whines & sulks like a lil bitch

i feel like inside me there’s only rot. i see no redeeming qualities in myself

i'm embarrassed of myself & i hate myself so much

can i be reborn pls

coincidentally i read this (from circe) right after i wrote the above:

or not coincidentally, if you don’t believe in coincidences

maybe it’s a sign ☆: *.Ꮺ the universe ָ࣪ ᯤ ࣪◜ ࣪⊹ is talking to me

₊ ˚✿ *.♡ ⁺ ˖★ ୧੭ ࣪⊹

mashunya, ᴅɪᴛᴛᴏ, nocturnes and 4 others like this
Like This

você nunca será minha

e por isso

terei você para sempre.

ʚ♡⃛ɞ

accountability

#76 H h o p e

Advanced Sage

Accountability access
1744 posts

Locationpersonal wei ying simp

Posted Today, 02:06 PM

you’re so pretty *0* white looks stunning on you! Can I ask? What language are you studying :0

Like This

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ────── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ────── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
❝ Who cares about the crowded broad avenue? I'll stick to my single-log bridge until it's dark. ❞

^^─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ────── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ────── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───