#4 
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Posted 12 July 2022 - 12:39 PM
july 12th, 2022
day 2
weight
before: 135.6
after: 134.8
change: -0.8
journal
i've been struggling with some mysterious allergies maybe and it's making me so lightheaded and having constant brain fog. yesterday i forgot my food in the car so i was stuck at my campus with nothing but the junky convenience store food. no matter what i do i can't escape junk food. i went to the doctor and she's convinced i have allergies but i'm taking a fuck ton of sudafed and idk. i thought i was getting better but today all my symptoms came back in full force.
i just can't even put my head together enough to make a food or exercise plan but i did my lower body workout at the gym today. i'm losing so much progress in the gym because i have no strength or mental energy but i have no idea what to do.
i'm thinking about fasting for three days.
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#5
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Posted 12 July 2022 - 04:45 PM
i really turned today around! first of all, i had a great zoom meeting with an advisor from my four year school of choice and she definitely hinted that the fact i reached out mattered. she gave me her contact info and i sent her a follow-up email with legit questions. the school i want to attend isn't exactly ivy league prestigious but i've been burned from school admissions by a school with a much higher acceptance rate so i'm trying to pull together a pristine application and be up front that this is my top choice.
unfortunately, i failed some classes when i first started community college here, including one core math class. my school replaces the grade and GPA contribution with a second attempt, and i did get As on my second attempts, but the Fs will still show on my transcript. i mean i kind of failed them because of mental illness and not academic deficiency but uhh..i'm not sure i want to exactly emphasize that either.
the advisor mentioned that if i've completed core writing and math that i don't have to send SAT scores but they were still optional to include....
...and that's how, in my 30's, i'm going to end up sitting for the SAT in november or december. i just really, really want to get into this school no matter what. nothing else will do. i started prepping on khan academy and set my practice goals to 40 questions a day. so far, so good. i'm also breezing through all my summer classes. and i'm working on japanese in the background in case i'm also insane enough to sit for JLPT N2 the day after the SAT. it really feels like things are moving now!
food was bad today, ballparking 1200 and i did c/s a little candy but i'm literally fasting already. i just need to get away from the campus junk food desperately. it's too much and too available.
#6
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Posted 13 July 2022 - 09:49 AM
july 13th, 2022
day 3
weight
before: 134.8
after: 135.0
change: +0.2
meal plan
journal
i have no right to complain about the gain. play junk food games, win junk food prizes.
17 hours and 30 minutes complete on my 48 hour fast as of this time of writing. today i'm fully booked with coursework anyway and so all i really need to do is breeze through my to-do list. i should be so preoccupied that i'm not even thinking about food. i'm looking forward to no mulling over cravings, no mental calorie tetris, and constantly losing productivity by wasting time shopping for food.
i re-installed zero to track my fast and put in my current stats. i've been doing 16:8 intermittent fasting anyway with an eating window from 8 to 4. anyway, apparenty after putting my stats into the app i'm slower than the average to enter the catabolic state so 16 hours isn't enough time to get the good stuff out of IF.
i wrote something really negative here but then i remembered that feeling sorry for myself is the old me. 18 hours fasting window? fantastic. good thing i've been building the habit with 16 this whole time so that transitioning to 18 will be no big deal.
i'll be posting a lot of updates within the next 40 hours to remain accountable.
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#7
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Posted 13 July 2022 - 12:05 PM
20 hours complete on this fast. sometimes i feel really hungry but then sometimes it doesn't feel any different than usual. honestly, i can't really remember the last time i fasted that wasn't directly after a huge binge where my body is still holding on to so much material and bloat that it's more like my food is settling than a fast.
the app is telling me i can exercise to bump myself into ketosis quicker so i was thinking about how to exercise at school. funny how my mind immediately told me to jog in place in the accessible bathroom instead of oh, idk, going to the athletic building where there's a track and proper amenities. old habits, old habits.
#8
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#9
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Posted Yesterday, 06:01 PM
july 14th, 2022
day 4
weight
before: 135.0
after: 133.0
change: -2.0
july 15th, 2022
day 5
weight
before: 133.0
after: 133.8
change: +0.8
july 16th, 2022
day 6
didn't weigh
july 17th, 2022
day 7
weight
before: 133.8
after: 134.2
change: +0.4
journal
ugh, i didn't mean to go so long without remaining accountable.
i fasted successfully and managed to hit 133.0 around the 36 hour mark. i meant to come back and post about it but then my to do list was growing and growing, and then...bam. four days passed without posting at all.
context here: i've been intermittent fasting this entire year. my eating window is 8 am to 4 pm. maybe tmi alert but nothing related to pee or poo is really tmi once you've been doing this for a while lmao
so i've been creeping up in weight since my fast but there's hope. i used pee sticks to check for ketones during my 48 hour fast, and this morning before weighing i had a whim to use a pee stick (since they were still on the counter lol) and it was positive for ketones! that's kind of remarkable because it means i hit ketosis in just 15 hours of fasting. so....i should be losing weight??? and i did use a pee stick before fasting which was negative so it's not that my pee sticks have gone off....
honestly i'm really thinking it's the classic food/poo combo that always freaks me out every time i come off any sort of fast and, you know, actually eat once again. this time i'm not going to let that derail me.
today i worked. i spent time on a project i've been doing that should net me about 1500 dollars by the end of the month. i need the pocket money for nyc and so i'm just thankful that some work has come my way.
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#10
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Posted Today, 07:01 AM
july 18th, 2022
day 8
weight
before: 134.2
after: 134.4
change: +0.2
meal plan
28 grams trader joe's cheese
lunch
goya chanpuru
dinner
mapo nasu
exercise plan
journal
i can't get mad about this upward weight trend when i haven't been consistent with accountability. yesterday i went out to eat at this little food cart complex and i had a lamb gyro. even when i knew i was going to end up going there i still had oatmeal for lunch. please. whenever i have a meal plan i 99.999% of the time stick to it.
i batch prepped using some vegetables my grocery store was selling that were locally grown. for some reason there were a lot of asian vegetables that i love so i bought a lot but since everyone where i am currently is too american and redneck to really even eat vegetables let alone know how to cook these they were already starting to go bad so i had to prepare them all straight away.
i made 6 servings of goya chanpuru and 4 servings of mapo nasu and i really need to go through my cheese so the meal plan in the coming week is going to be QUITE repetitive.
i used another pee stick and got ketones this morning. if only that would make me actually lose weight. now i'm worried about wasting so many pee sticks.
i don't want to be so derisive about the people around me in the place i am now but sometimes i just really need to let off steam. i'm constantly getting comments just because i'm physically active and eat a variety of foods. sometime it just feels good to snap back. when i get to new york, all of this will just be a hazy bad dream.
#11
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Posted Today, 09:17 AM
it's literally 9 am and i'm ready to eat anything i see. i can't deal. i need some appetite-be-gone although i shouldn't be relying on this stuff to lose all my weight. i'm just going to try to convince myself that this is because of an explosive calorie day yesterday.
stick. with. the. plan.
today's goals:
- remember to start my fast in my fasting app so it doesn't say i had a 36 hour eating window
- get my prep assignment finished
- stick with meal plan at all costs
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