2
you know i keep that mf accountability on me
#41 
- Accountability access
- 315 posts
Advanced Warrior
Posted 03 July 2022 - 05:16 AM
aight I need to get up to maybe like 1000 cal today
Phantom - 5'2" - 25
BED/Bulimia and Pro Recovery - Currently Relapsing - Accountability - Meme Thread
[x] 200lbs (sometime in January, I forgot) [] 190lbs [] 180lbs [] 170lbs [] 160lbs [] 150lbs
thank you for clicking my dragon babies
#42
- Accountability access
- 315 posts
Advanced Warrior
Posted 03 July 2022 - 06:10 PM
alright, good full ish day of eating.
breakfast:
- peanut butter sandwich (1 slice bread 80 cal), (1 tbsp peanut butter 95 cal)
- quest birthday cake protein cookie (90)
lunch:
- 5 ritz crackers (80)
- lemon pepper tuna packet (80)
- chocolate piece (70)
dinner:
- 10 ritz crackers (160)
- can of smoked oysters (150)
snacks:
- serving of goldfish crackers (140)
- 1/2 cup of cookies and cream ice cream (173)
total: 1,118 calories
- You like this
- Unlike
Phantom - 5'2" - 25
BED/Bulimia and Pro Recovery - Currently Relapsing - Accountability - Meme Thread
[x] 200lbs (sometime in January, I forgot) [] 190lbs [] 180lbs [] 170lbs [] 160lbs [] 150lbs
thank you for clicking my dragon babies
#43
- Accountability access
- 315 posts
Advanced Warrior
Posted 05 July 2022 - 12:51 AM
i hate this, but i got to stay accountable... i didn't want to go over 700 calories today, but I went to a coworker's 4th of July party and had over twice that. At least I was able to see food brands and nutrition labels so I could get a calorie count in. The only thing that was sort of up in the air was the alcoholic mixed drinks but I could still get a ballpark.
lunch:
- vanilla protein donut (130)
dinner/ 4th of July party:
- 3x malibu rum (1 shot), 8 oz of coke (i watched it get poured hee hee hee). (Approx 232 cals each, total 696)
- Armour brand hot dog with Ballpark brand bun and 1 tbsp ketchup (300)
- 3x serving of sour cream and onion Lays ruffles (total 450)
total: 1,576 god save me
I'm gonna want to restrict a lot tighter tomorrow. I've got to drive to the next town over and back, so I'll probably eat for that. Otherwise, I'll be cutting those calories really short. Just cause I feel bad, especially cause I went over 1000 yesterday, too. At the very least, I didn't breach 2,000. so there's that. I wouldn't count it as a binge. I ate the food in paced out portions while being constantly surrounded by people so I didn't go into frenzy mode or anything. Its just been a long time since I've had actual liquor, let alone really sat down to drink, so I lost my inhibitions a good bit, but not catastrophically.
Overall tonight was a fun night, I'm glad I went out. I feel poopy about how I ate but I can always get back on track.
Phantom - 5'2" - 25
BED/Bulimia and Pro Recovery - Currently Relapsing - Accountability - Meme Thread
[x] 200lbs (sometime in January, I forgot) [] 190lbs [] 180lbs [] 170lbs [] 160lbs [] 150lbs
thank you for clicking my dragon babies
#44
- Accountability access
- 315 posts
Advanced Warrior
Posted 05 July 2022 - 05:33 PM
yeah man I'm just not feeling the hunger today. I went about most of my day, drove out of town to get groceries and back, and didn't eat until about half an hour ago. And I feel pretty stuffed from it, plus I'm about to go to bed early tonight for a morning shift at work so I'm just gonna call it here today for the eating.
i love grocery shopping alone so much. i just get to bumble around checking the nutrition labels and take all the time I want without anyone hovering and asking questions. I got so many nice vegetables and seafood, and a fresh chicken breast which I'm gonna knock out tomorrow with some grilled zucchini and squash. and a handful of crayfish!!! i haven't had crayfish since I was like 11. Stoked.
- 5.5 oz avocado with salt and red pepper flakes (248)
total: 248 calories
Phantom - 5'2" - 25
BED/Bulimia and Pro Recovery - Currently Relapsing - Accountability - Meme Thread
[x] 200lbs (sometime in January, I forgot) [] 190lbs [] 180lbs [] 170lbs [] 160lbs [] 150lbs
thank you for clicking my dragon babies
#45
- Accountability access
- 315 posts
Advanced Warrior
Posted 06 July 2022 - 06:13 PM
im gonna hit the gym again after work tomorrow
breakfast
- sungold kiwi (i forgot the oz but i wrote down the calories, it was 56)
- peaches and cream oatmeal (110)
lunch
- jalapeno tuna packet (70)
- 5 ritz crackers (80)
dinner
- zucchini + yellow squash cooked in olive oil (serving size was about 55 cal after splitting it up into leftovers)
- baked chicken breast with lemon and herb (serving size was about 140 cal)
- 2 oreos (106)
snacks
- gatorade zero (10)
total: 627 calories
Phantom - 5'2" - 25
BED/Bulimia and Pro Recovery - Currently Relapsing - Accountability - Meme Thread
[x] 200lbs (sometime in January, I forgot) [] 190lbs [] 180lbs [] 170lbs [] 160lbs [] 150lbs
thank you for clicking my dragon babies
#46
- Accountability access
- 315 posts
Advanced Warrior
Posted 07 July 2022 - 12:55 PM
gonna fill my food log right now at 1:53 in the afternoon so that my fat ass doesn't go and eat anything else today because I literally feel so much guilt right now and the thought of feeding myself feels unbearable
breakfast:
- 1 egg (80)
- 2 strips of turkey bacon (60)
- piece of wheat toast (80)
snack:
- cookies n cream built bar (130)
total: 350 calories
Phantom - 5'2" - 25
BED/Bulimia and Pro Recovery - Currently Relapsing - Accountability - Meme Thread
[x] 200lbs (sometime in January, I forgot) [] 190lbs [] 180lbs [] 170lbs [] 160lbs [] 150lbs
thank you for clicking my dragon babies
#47
- Accountability access
- 315 posts
Advanced Warrior
Posted 08 July 2022 - 07:27 PM
SO I definitely overate today in general BUT I actually stopped myself from going on a gnarly all out binge earlier this morning so woohoo little victories. It def could have been a lot worse today, I just wanted to stay under 800 but ya girl kept on eating. Major sweet tooth and snack urges today. here's the breakdown:
breakfast:
- strawberries and cream oatmeal (110)
lunch:
- 1/2 the leftovers from the other night's chicken dinner with squash (100 ish)
- 1/2 tbsp of ketchup (10)
- some crawfish tails, not as much as a whole 3 oz but I didn't weigh them beforehand so lets call it (70) just to overshoot a little
dinner:
- 52g tilapia (67)
- 50g sweet potatoes (43) + 1/2 tbsp of earth balance 'butter' (40)
- 50g spinach cooked (20)
snacks:
- 2 oreos (106)
- 3 mini powdered donettes (185)
- 1/2 a 7oz peach (39)
- 2 mamba fruit chews (44)
- 1 Bud Light seltzer soda (100)
- serving of goldfish crackers (140)
for a grand total of: 1,074 calories
I'm gonna have to restrict really tight tomorrow, this bouncing around can't be good for me.
Phantom - 5'2" - 25
BED/Bulimia and Pro Recovery - Currently Relapsing - Accountability - Meme Thread
[x] 200lbs (sometime in January, I forgot) [] 190lbs [] 180lbs [] 170lbs [] 160lbs [] 150lbs
thank you for clicking my dragon babies
#48
- Accountability access
- 315 posts
Advanced Warrior
Posted 09 July 2022 - 05:35 PM
FINALLY GOT BACK TO THE GYM! My back is almost all better! I'll still need another trip to the chiropractor but now that I can go back to the gym, I can work on strengthening my core and preventing the issue from happening again.
exercise:
- 30 elliptical
- 20 min walk outside
breakfast:
- 2 king arthur 4 inch pancakes (300)
- 1 tbsp maple syrup (55)
lunch:
- 1 cup (frozen) cauliflower rice (27)
- salmon packet (70)
dinner:
- leftovers from last night's dinner: tilapia, sweet potatoes, spinach (170)
snacks:
- birthday cake fiber one brownie (70)
total: 692 calories
Phantom - 5'2" - 25
BED/Bulimia and Pro Recovery - Currently Relapsing - Accountability - Meme Thread
[x] 200lbs (sometime in January, I forgot) [] 190lbs [] 180lbs [] 170lbs [] 160lbs [] 150lbs
thank you for clicking my dragon babies
#49
- Accountability access
- 315 posts
Advanced Warrior
Posted 10 July 2022 - 08:41 PM
so today, eating actually felt good. so i ate a whole lot. and then i ended up getting super ill, i think from the sugar free chocolate bar. but yeah, i didn't purge, just started feeling super gross a few hours later. kind of makes it feel like the whole day of eating was a waste. why did i enjoy eating today if i was gonna get sick anyway right?
breakfast:
- 1 slice wheat toast (80)
- 1 egg (80)
- 2 slices turkey bacon (60)
- 1 gold kiwi (52)
dinner:
- home made guacamole (approx 250)
- 1 serving tortilla chips (140)
snacks:
- 1 serving goldfish crackers (140)
- 2 pickled quail eggs (40)
- 1 caramel coffee hard candy (18)
- 1/2 sugar free caramel chocolate bar (165)
- 1 gatorade zero (10)
fit bit activity tracker (9:37 pm):
- miles - 4.52
- steps - 11,216
- calories (with .30 error margin) - (2,717 x .70) = 1,902
calories: 1902 burned - 1035 intake = 867 deficit
Phantom - 5'2" - 25
BED/Bulimia and Pro Recovery - Currently Relapsing - Accountability - Meme Thread
[x] 200lbs (sometime in January, I forgot) [] 190lbs [] 180lbs [] 170lbs [] 160lbs [] 150lbs
thank you for clicking my dragon babies
#50
- Accountability access
- 315 posts
Advanced Warrior
Posted 11 July 2022 - 10:24 PM
i don't have much to say about today. i was super duper hungry most of my shift, but i didn't eat anything but the lunch i brought to work.
exercise:
- 30 min eliptical
breakfast:
- cookies n cream built bar (130)
lunch:
- 3/4 cup (frozen) cauliflower rice (20)
- packet of salmon (70)
- raspberry mamba chew (22)
dinner:
- 5 ritz crackers (80)
- 1 wedge laughing cow light cheese (25)
- 2 oz (raw) salmon (120)
fit bit (11:20 pm):
- 6.43 miles
- 16,136 steps
- (3,525 x .70) = 2,467 calories
calories: 2,467 burned - 467 intake (HOW DID THIS WORK OUT SO PERFECTLY LOL????) = 2000 deficit
- How Dare I Be A Shape likes this
- Like This
Phantom - 5'2" - 25
BED/Bulimia and Pro Recovery - Currently Relapsing - Accountability - Meme Thread
[x] 200lbs (sometime in January, I forgot) [] 190lbs [] 180lbs [] 170lbs [] 160lbs [] 150lbs
thank you for clicking my dragon babies
#51
- Accountability access
- 315 posts
Advanced Warrior
Posted 12 July 2022 - 03:01 PM
I've got some stuff for a sort of planned binge tonight. Some foods I've been viciously craving, although I made sure not to get too much of it, chances are I'll go over my cal limit. I'll log it all and just deal with it. I feel like i desperately need that food high, which I don't feel good about, but damn it's been eating away at my brain for a week. I'm gonna take a nap first though because I only got like 4 hours of sleep and I wonder if that's why I'm so ravenous today. So far I've only had a 260 tuna salad kit and a 10 cal monster. I'm hoping after a good nap I won't feel so compelled to eat so much. But I've got hotdogs (and buns), 4 hostess ding dongs, and some cheddar sour cream chips. Here's what I want to do, right now, while I'm exhausted and frustrated and hungry:
I want to eat 4 hot dogs (140 per dog, 140 per bun, 20 per ketchup) - 1200 cals
and 4 ding dongs (620)
and a full bag of chips (380)
for a binge total of 2,200
now thats what I want to do, I want to eat until my brain rots out my ears. But lately I haven't been able to eat so much all at once, plus I'm sure I will come to my senses/ lose some of the insomnia hunger after a nap so if I could bring that down to 1,100 that would be a lot better.
I don't want my calories limit to go above 1,500 today. I don't even want to get that high. But I can feel the BED clawing at the inside of my skull and I just keep telling myself if I get a little bit in, it'll calm my ass down.
Phantom - 5'2" - 25
BED/Bulimia and Pro Recovery - Currently Relapsing - Accountability - Meme Thread
[x] 200lbs (sometime in January, I forgot) [] 190lbs [] 180lbs [] 170lbs [] 160lbs [] 150lbs
thank you for clicking my dragon babies
#52
- Accountability access
- 315 posts
Advanced Warrior
Posted 12 July 2022 - 11:09 PM
so YUP I binged. worse than I wanted, not as bad as I planned. But I've felt sick and groggy since then so, I'll remember that for a while. As always, the food high is never as good as my BED brain tells me its gonna be, and the fallout is much worse than I prepare for. I'm an idiot. It was a lot of saturated fat, a lot of sugar, a lot of salt, I'm expecting to feel like shit for at least a day or two. Tomorrow I'm off work so I'm gonna tight restrict, setting my limit tomorrow for 500 calories.
anyway, here's the break down for today
exercise:
- 45 min dancing
breakfast:
- starkist tuna salad + crackers kit (260)
lunch:
- zero sugar monster (10)
binge:
- 2 hot dogs with buns and ketchup (600)
- 4 ding dongs (620)
- full bag of cheddar sour cream chips (390)
fitbit (11:59 pm):
- 5.51 miles
- 13,668 steps
- (3,065 x .70) = 2,145 calories
calories: 2,145 burned - 1,880 intake = 265 deficit
- How Dare I Be A Shape likes this
- Like This
Phantom - 5'2" - 25
BED/Bulimia and Pro Recovery - Currently Relapsing - Accountability - Meme Thread
[x] 200lbs (sometime in January, I forgot) [] 190lbs [] 180lbs [] 170lbs [] 160lbs [] 150lbs
thank you for clicking my dragon babies
#53
- Accountability access
- 315 posts
Advanced Warrior
Posted 13 July 2022 - 10:06 PM
god I'm so tired. it really seems like every time work gives me a day off, they just call my ass back in. I don't get another day off for 7 fucking days I am so exhausted I feel blindingly depressed from it
anyway here's the jig. i really really really wanted a beer tonight but it's not like I even have time to drink it because I got off at 10:45 for this cover shift, and I have to wake up at 7:00 for an opening shift. so i guess that works out anyway because it would have been over my calorie goal i wanted today
exercise:
- 20 min jogging
- 30 min cycling machine
- 15 min jump rope and step workout
- 15 min strength training
lunch:
- 1 wedge light laughing cow cheese (30)
- 1 packet of salmon (70)
- 5 ritz crackers (80)
dinner:
- 1 cup instant chicken noodles (230)
- 1 egg (80)
snack:
- 1 caramel coffee hard candy (17)
fitbit (11:02 pm):
- 5.43 miles
- 13,524 steps
- (3,086 x .70) = 2160 calories
calories: 2160 burned - 507 intake = 1,653 deficit (which btw I know is not an exact number or measurement for weight loss, because my metabolism can be doing whatever the hell it wants, so I'm not wishing on these numbers just tracking the trend)
- You like this
- Unlike
Phantom - 5'2" - 25
BED/Bulimia and Pro Recovery - Currently Relapsing - Accountability - Meme Thread
[x] 200lbs (sometime in January, I forgot) [] 190lbs [] 180lbs [] 170lbs [] 160lbs [] 150lbs
thank you for clicking my dragon babies
#54
- Accountability access
- 315 posts
Advanced Warrior
Posted 14 July 2022 - 08:39 PM
i pretty much ate garbage today but controlled garbage
breakfast:
- 1 cookies n cream built bar (130)
lunch:
- hot dog with bun and ketchup (300)
dinner:
- 1 oz chickpea pasta with 26g jalapeno velveeta and 1 strip turkey bacon (194)
- 97g green beans with 1/3 tbsp earth balance "butter", lemon and garlic (62)
snacks:
- zero sugar monster (10)
- 1/2 cup oreo ice cream (173) with cone (20)
fitbit (9:33 pm):
- 5.07 miles
- 12,575 steps
- (2,734 x .70) = 1,913 calories
calories: 1,913 burned - 889 intake = 1,024 deficit
- You and How Dare I Be A Shape like this
- Unlike
Phantom - 5'2" - 25
BED/Bulimia and Pro Recovery - Currently Relapsing - Accountability - Meme Thread
[x] 200lbs (sometime in January, I forgot) [] 190lbs [] 180lbs [] 170lbs [] 160lbs [] 150lbs
thank you for clicking my dragon babies
#55
- Accountability access
- 315 posts
Advanced Warrior
Posted 15 July 2022 - 02:22 PM
i just don't have it in me to fill out a whole post today. total was 490 calories. i'm not going to eat anything else today
Phantom - 5'2" - 25
BED/Bulimia and Pro Recovery - Currently Relapsing - Accountability - Meme Thread
[x] 200lbs (sometime in January, I forgot) [] 190lbs [] 180lbs [] 170lbs [] 160lbs [] 150lbs
thank you for clicking my dragon babies
#56
- Accountability access
- 315 posts
Advanced Warrior
Posted Today, 02:58 PM
yesterday i binged, daily total somewhere around 1900. I was counting and got somewhere to 1300 before i stopped counting. but i remember what I ate after that, and it was 600 cal. my calculator didn't save what all I had counted from before, I just know it was in the 1300s.
today I have been heavy restricting. will update again tonight when I'm done. i'll go back to logging my food and exercise. i just haven't had the energy to do anything for myself. showered this morning though and I'm about to clean up my home a little so hopefully i will feel a little less suicidal and exhausted
- You like this
- Unlike
Phantom - 5'2" - 25
BED/Bulimia and Pro Recovery - Currently Relapsing - Accountability - Meme Thread
[x] 200lbs (sometime in January, I forgot) [] 190lbs [] 180lbs [] 170lbs [] 160lbs [] 150lbs
thank you for clicking my dragon babies
No comments:
Post a Comment